Fun with the crazy English language

Photo: teach-overseas

Rob & I were passing the driving time amusing ourselves with the silliness of the English language. Oh how the English language can be so confusing & even frustrating for us that speak it as our first language let alone for the multitudes that try to understand it as a second language. I admire their tenacity. English is so inconsistent it's actually fun to confuse non-english speakers.

Going crazy

How can one learn English when you have words that are the same yet have totally different meanings or are spelt the same and yet sometimes even different pronunciations? Others have the same pronunciations yet are spelt differently. Then there are words that sound this way when spelt like that and yet when you find another word similar and try to apply the same pronunciation you are way off beam. And this doesn’t even begin to cover the changes to the English language that computer technology has introduced. We’ll play with those words on another trip and write it up another time.


Here’s how we amused ourselves this time, actually we did this over a couple of days just for the fun of it...

• The farmer’s bandage was wound around the wound.
• The material witness wore a dress of fine woven material.
• The corporal could lead his platoon if he could just get the lead out of his feet.
• The frightened tourist decided desert his dessert in the desert of Egypt.
• The accident insurance was invalid for the old invalid.
• They were standing too close to close the door properly.
• The dog‘s bark was directed at the intruder hiding in the ground covering bark.
• He threw the ball right through the hole.
• He consumed the whole cake even though there was a hole in it from mice.
• My husband has a stake in the steak for his dinner.
• Watch how low the men with the bow ties bow before the Queen.
• She wont live long if she touches a live wire.
• A spring in the suspension snapped last spring when we were near Kathleen Hot Springs.
• The bear bares all.
• He ate eight cookies.
• She told me that Dave would get the wood for the fire.
• Let it be known that a bee sting can be painful even lethal.
• The hair on the back of the dog’s neck stood up whilst observing the hare just before chasing it.
• A single scented rose was presented to the student who rose above the rest.
• The old so & so is so very good at painting and he can sew as well.
• The United Nations wanted a piece of the glory in the peace deal that was recently brokered by two former enemies.

So whilst we are travelling from one camp to the next in our caravan, this is just one of the funny ways we amuse ourselves. At least for this couple of grey nomads, we are keeping the grey matter active. All of us can do with a good dose of humour in our lives.

How do you past the time on long road trips?